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EVENING PERKS AT THE MONTROSE CHRISTIAN WRITERS CONFERENCE – 2016

Westcotts.+BigDuck

Do you like to laugh?

How sharp are you at Jeopardy?

Jeanne.Mull.Readers.Theater.2015Would you like to read a section of your written work to the entire conference assembly?

Then it’s time to register for the Montrose Christian Writers Conference July 17th to the 22nd. Besides choosing from over 40 workshops during the week, three evenings offer additional perks:

Monday Evening: Puppets on Parade will present faculty and conferees who would like to participate in a fun-filled program of puppetry and ventriloquism. You may volunteer to be in the program or relax in the audience and enjoy the event.

Wednesday Evening: Odd Ducks’ Dilemma, a Jeopardy-type game will challenge panels of three volunteers each, both faculty and conferees, with questions about writing/publishing on all different levels.

Example: Answer – The author of Alice in Wonderland

The Question – Who is Lewis Carroll?

Thursday Evening: Writers’ Theater invites any conferee or faculty member to read a three-minute section of any written work. It’s an evening of creativity you’ll enjoy whether you participate or cheer on the writers brave enough to read their work to their peers.

Please go to http://www.montrosebible.org/OurEvents/tabid/113/page_550/1/eventid_550/58/Default.aspx

for all the details and a registration form. I hope to see you at Montrose in July!

Marsha

Director

(More shameless promotion)

Whispering Hope

A wild horse and an angry young woman. Is there a secret to taming them both?

Foster kid, Skye Nicholson, sets her sights on a new teen and a rescued wild Mustang

at Keystone Stables.

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Book 7. Keystone Stables

April 25, 2016

 

Research for Nonfiction

 

Do I Need To Do Research for my Nonfiction Work?

Detective.w.Spy.Glass.Cartoon

“Well, that’s a no-brainer,” you say. “Even if you’re writing your life history, you’d probably need an ancient facts book to see what REALLY BIG happened the year you were born. Duh. Nonfiction means ‘no fakey talkey.’”

Right. We all assume, and correctly, that nonfiction requires research, except maybe if you’re writing poetry, although you need to keep your facts straight there, too, if you’re writing practically anything but mushy love notes.

Let’s discuss the importance of keeping good notes and doing the necessary research to make your manuscript a reliable and trustworthy document.

How About the Internet?

Yes, Google has brought to all of us a library on our desks in our homes. But, please reconsider Wikipedia for all your research. It’s all right to use it as a reference, but sometimes online sources are not 100% accurate. You need to spend some time at the brick-and-mortar library. And not just hanging around the encyclopedia shelves either.

Let’s say you plan to write a coffee table book that would attract sports car racing fans. You want to find facts and photos about “The First Car Races in the United States.”

Online searches and encyclopedias are a good place to start, but only a good place to start. Where else can you find information about early car races? Let’s list a few:

1.Libraries (more than one, including public libraries and college libraries), which should have a wealth of all kinds of books about the topic

2.Racing magazine archives

3.Biographies and autobiographies of famous “car people” like Henry Ford

4.Race tracks, contemporary race car drivers, local auto racing clubs

5.Race car museums

6.Manufacturing plants of race cars

There are just a few ideas of where you could get your facts for your project.

So after you start collecting the facts, what’s the best way to save them?

Of course, an accurate bibliography is essential. I recommend keeping all your notes not only on paper in a file but feeding them into a computer file and on back-up flash drives or CDs for safe keeping, as well. You never know what might happen to just one file, either in the computer or outside of it. I’ve lost items much bigger than a file of papers in my feeble-brained moments.

I can’t express more clearly at this time the importance of keeping that bibliography as detailed as you can. If at all possible, record publishing dates and companies of all facts gathered. Record phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses of all folks interviewed, or the sources of all information (if available), and don’t skimp on the details. You just might need to “prove” to your editor that your facts are correct.

Case in Point: when I wrote my ladies’ Bible study guide, DRAW ME CLOSER, LORD, A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO A MEANINGFUL PRAYER LIFE, several years back, I took a full year to write it because of the research involved. I used not only the Bible extensively, but I also used 19 other resources, all of them books, many written by famous pastors or missionaries on the topic of prayer, to substantiate my statements. I also had to do research for every song lyric or poem I quoted at the end of each of the ten lessons. I needed to know if the words I wished to copy were in the public domain, (older than 70 years for the hymns I wanted to use), or if I had to acquire permission to use the words or even purchase the rights such as in the case of a Helen Steiner Rice poem, which I wanted to quote two or three lines. (That purchase price was extremely high, so I used another poem with no reprint fee—one of my own!)

I vividly remember talking to the editor at the publishing company who had contracted with me for the Bible study guide. She made it quite clear to me that it was MY responsibility to send her all the “permission slips” to use any other author’s poems or any composer’s lyrics. I also remember she told me I had to have documentation from said authors or composers to send to her before the company would publish the book.

Well, now, if I hadn’t written down where I had found some of the poems I wanted to use or some of the hymns’ lyrics, I would’ve been in a big research waning mess. But, fortunately, I had documented all of the above.

I remember one incident when I found the phone number (I don’t remember how) of one of the poets whose poem I wished to use. I called the number, and the poet’s husband answered, telling me that his wife had passed away several years ago. After I offered him my condolences, I explained that I wanted to use one of her poems in my book, and he graciously consented to send me a written statement, which I then forwarded to my editor.

Now, can you see what it took me a full year to write the Bible study guide? Accuracy takes time!

So, my strongest note of encouragement to you is to keep accurate and detailed notes of every little tidbit of information you use. You have no idea what your editor will ask for. And if you decide to self publish, you need all the more to be accurate and to have permission when permission to copy is due. One thing you don’t need accompanying the joy of seeing your name in print is a lawsuit in tomorrow’s mailbox.

Happy researching!

P.S. Time to register for the Montrose Christian Writers Conference. You won’t be sorry! Please check http://www.montrosebible.org/OurEvents/tabid/113/page_550/1/eventid_550/58/Default.aspx for all the details.

Marsha

http://www.marshahubler.com

http://www.horsefactsbymarshahubler.wordpress.com

 

(More shameless promotion)

BEST-SELLING BOOKS FOR TWEENS

Book 7. Keystone Stables

Whispering Hope

Book 7 in THE KEYSTONE STABLES SERIES

Foster kid, Skye Nicholson, has her hands full trying to train a wild Mustang and befriend another wild foster kid who has no intentions of cooperating with anyone at Keystone Stables.

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Writers! It’s Time to Register for the Montrose Christian Writers Conference!

Westcotts.+BigDuck

July 17th – 22nd (Or come for just a few days)!

Older Teens to Senior Citizens!

Come to Montrose and get your work ready to publish!

 

This Year’s Perks

  1. Build your blog or update! (3 classes or private tutoring for only $20/45 min. periods)
  2. Finally understand how to use Microsoft Word to enhance your documents. (3 classes)
  3. Attend freebie critique groups to give you invaluable advice to hone your work.
  4. Review your work privately with a faculty member. (free/15 min. periods or $40/30 min.)
  5. Read a 3-minute piece of your work to all the conferees at Writers’ Theatre.
  6. Participate in the Parade of Puppets with your puppets or dummies.
  7. Participate in the Odd Ducks’ Dilemma, a quiz program similar to Jeopardy.

Just Starting to Write?

Attend the Inspiration and Perspiration classes with Roseanna White to learn where to start.

Wanna Self Publish? Don't.Stop.Believing

Attend 3 classes to find out just how to do it.

Wanna Publish Your Poetry?

Sign up for the work-in-progress seminar with award winning poet Shirley Stevens or attend her 3 classes during the week.

Is My Romance Novel Good Enough?

Find out by signing up for the work-in-progress seminar with award winning novelist Gayle Roper.

Walk.w.Joan.and.Faith.at.MontroseCan’t Attend All the Classes?

Purchase any or all the recorded sessions for a reasonable price.

 

PLUS over 40 classes that present everything from public speaking to editing your own work to marketing and promotion.

I’d love to see you there in July!

For more details, go to http://www.montrosebible.org/OurEvents/tabid/113/page_550/1/eventid_550/58/Default.aspx

Looking forward to meeting and greeting you on July 17th!

 

 

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SNOW, PHANTOM STALLION OF THE POCONOS

Dallis Parker copes with bullying at school by dreaming about owning Snow, a wild Mustang, who most folks believe doesn’t even exist. Then she actually touches the horse, and her life is changed forever.

http://www.amazon.com/Snow-Phantom-Stallion-Marsha-Hubler-ebook/dp/B013GUF078/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1449523382&sr=1-1&keywords=Snow%2C+Phantom+Stallion+of+the+Poconos

 

SNOW

April 11, 2016

 

The Essential Details of Research for your Fiction

 Detective.w.Spy.Glass.Cartoon

What? Research for fiction when I’m making it all up in my brilliant head?

Yes, you need to do research even though your story is “make-believe.”

The editors with whom I worked to publish three different juvenile fiction books or series all demanded accuracy when it came to “the facts.”

In my Keystone Stables book number seven, WHISPERING HOPE, a small barn fire causes the local fire company to come to the Chambers’ ranch to, of course, put out the fire. So, what, or who, would show up to put out a potentially dangerous flame that could destroy acres of property and farmland?

To be absolutely correct in my manuscript, I interviewed a local fireman and got all the details of who, what, where, when, and why. Following is that scene with all “the facts” included accurately:

**********************************************************************

Skye followed Mrs. Chambers outside just as two screaming fire engines, a tanker, and an ambulance, all with flashing lights, barreled down the driveway and pulled a short distance from the barn. The trucks and their commotion lit up the place like a firemen’s carnival. As far as Skye could tell, about ten firemen scrambled from the trucks and started their assigned tasks.

Moving to the far side of the barn, Mr. Chambers continued to spray water on the fire. “I think it just started!” he yelled to anyone who would listen.

“Is there anyone in the barn?” one fireman yelled.

“No!” Mr. Chambers yelled. “We just got all the horses out!”

Another fireman asked, “Do you have a pond on your property?”

“Yes,” Mr. Chambers answered, “at the bottom of the fenced-in pasture.”

“Freeburg’s trucks should be here any sec,” the fireman said. “Open your gate, so their tanker can fill up.”

Mr. Chambers dropped his garden hose and raced toward the gate.

Skye stared at the scene while two men quickly slid a large plastic holding tank off the truck and started pumping water from the tanker into it. One fireman grabbed some kind of line or hose from another truck and pulled it to the plastic tank where he plugged it in. Two other men shoulder-loaded a hose from the first truck and stretched it the length of the barn. A pair of men from another truck donned breathing apparatus, grabbed fire extinguishers and hatchets, and started toward the barn.

The men with the outstretched hose started spraying water on the flames in the loft while two men from the second truck prepped their hose.

Still coughing, Skye watched the firemen perform their duties with the precision that only drill after drill had produced. Every man knew exactly what to do to put out the fire and save the barn from total destruction.

Out of the ambulance hopped two EMTs. Carrying small cases, they rushed toward Mrs. Chambers and Skye. “Are you all right?” asked a chubby female in a navy blue uniform.

Mrs. Chambers gestured toward Skye and spoke through a series of coughs. “We … got our lungs full of smoke, but we’re okay. Just let us… catch our breath.”

“Do you need any oxygen?” a tall thin EMT with a beard asked.

“I think… we’re okay,” Skye managed to say. “We were in the barn… just long enough to get the horses out.”

Gasping, Mr. Chambers joined the group while his glare never left the barn.

“Sir,” the male EMT asked Mr. Chambers, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Mr. Chambers said. “I didn’t breathe in any smoke… I’m just winded.”

With blasting sirens and flashing lights, three more fire trucks and another ambulance barreled down the driveway. They clattered to the far side of the barn and pulled to a screeching halt. One busy fireman in front of the barn ran to the tanker and shouted something to the driver. As the firemen hopped off the engines, the tanker backed up, maneuvered around the other trucks, and headed toward the pond.

Mrs. Chambers grabbed Skye by both shoulders and glared into her face. “Skye … where’s Wanda?”

Skye’s eyes grew as round as saucers. “Mom… I completely forgot to tell you… she wasn’t in her bed.” She then pointed at the barn. “She might be in there!”

“Wan-da!” Mrs. Chambers screamed and started running toward the barn, but Mr. Chambers grabbed her arm and stopped her. “You stay here!” he yelled. “I’ll go in.”

“You can’t go in there!” an EMT yelled.

“I have to,” he said. “One of our girls is in there!”

Mr. Chambers ran to a firemen gearing up and told him about Wanda.

“Mike!” the fireman yelled back to the hosemen. “There might be a kid in there. We’re going in.”

“Okay,” one said. Turning his water on, he and his partner streamed a second powerful surge of water into the barn’s loft.

(From WHISPERING HOPE by Marsha Hubler, pp. 60-62)

 

**********************************************************************

 

There you have an example of the detail required to make a scene come alive with truth in action. I trust that you felt like you were standing right next to Skye, watching everything that was going on.

In another one of my fiction books, THE SECRET OF WOLF CANYON, the plot centers around Civil War gold coins hidden in a canyon that the main characters, three teen girl junior detectives, have to find. I make several referrals to the Battle of Gettysburg, including a map or two in the manuscript; so, of course, much research went into being accurate with the details about the coins and the battlefield. I used encyclopedias and the Internet for my research.

Oh, by the way, one of the publishing companies’ editors’ main jobs is to make sure their authors get their stories straight. The editors, in turn, must do their own research to verify the words we authors have written.

So, my point is this: when writing fiction, make sure you get “the facts” straight. I suppose the only subgenre in which you wouldn’t need much research is if you’re writing fantasy that takes place in a brand new world. You can make up your own laws, rules, details, and creatures which need to follow no standard. However, if you’re writing about anything or anyone here on planet earth, do your homework, and make your story as true to life as you can, even if it’s all a big lie. ☺

Marsha

P.S. Don’t wait to sign up for a work-in-progress class at the Montrose Christian Writers’ Conference this July. Those seminars fill up fast.MCWC.Duck.Welcome.Sign.on.Porch.7.22.14

http://www.montrosebible.org/OurEvents/tabid/113/page_550/1/eventid_550/58/Default.aspx

http://www.marshahubler.com

http://www.montrosebible.org

http://www.horsefactsbymarshahubler.wordpress.com

 

(More shameless promotion)

SOUTHERN BELLE’S SPECIAL GIFT

(KEYSTONE STABLES BOOK 3)

Foster kid Skye and her horse Champ have their hooves full

trying to help Tanya Bell, a wild foster kid, handle the loss

of a mare giving birth.

 Keystone Stables Book 3

 

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Verbs That Sabotage Your Writing

Blue.Sad.Smiley.Face

“Jim and I were going to the store,” Mary said as she was talking on the phone with Susie. “Then we were stopping off to play miniature golf. I am thinking that we should have been at the theater in time to see the last movie, but Jim was not thinking the same way I was thinking. I was totally confused by him.”

Oh, my stars in heaven! What kind of writing is that?

In plain words, it’s “stupid” writing, littered with passive verbs that we call “being” verbs. If you want to murder your story before it ever gets off the ground, use these verbs frequently. Your reader will fall asleep before he gets to the second page.

For some reason, newbie writers and passive verbs go together like bread and butter. I’ve never been able to figure out why so many beginning writers, including myself years ago, have/had the uncanny habit of using these verbs so frequently. When you analyze what’s happening, you can actually see that it takes more forethought AND more words to write in the passive “being verb” voice. And the writing is just plain boring, is it not? And it’s a hard habit to break. After 20 years of writing, I still catch myself drifting into the passive voice world.

 What are Being Verbs?

So, what are the being verbs that turn your “wow” story into a “ho hum” nightmare?

When I taught junior and senior high English, every student memorized the list of being verbs. I constantly reminded the teens to be on the lookout for the little rascals that needed to be ditched and replaced with active verbs. So here’s the list:

Am, are, is, was, were, be, been, will be, shall be, has been, had been

Now, I’m not saying that you need to purge your entire manuscript of every being verb, but use them sparingly. Look for verbs that are in the passive voice and change them to active. Reword your sentences that the direct object or the object of the preposition becomes the subject. That will immediately change your sentences to “active” ones.

Let’s look at how we can change the opening paragraph to a more exciting visit with Mary:

“Jim and I went to the store,” Mary said as she talked on the phone with Susie. “Then we stopped to play miniature golf. I think we could have gotten to the theater in time to see the last movie, but Jim thinks completely different from me. He totally confused me.”

There you see how we eliminated almost all the being verbs. In the very last sentence, the object of the preposition, him, became the subject, he, in the rewrite.

Now, let’s look at three more bad examples that we’ll rewrite into good sentences:

Bad Examples of the “Passive Voice:” Sad.Smiley.Face

Last night Billy was bitten by Larry’s dog Bowser.

Did you see how Cathy was wrapping that wet towel around her arm?

The beautiful maple leaves were turning a bright red in the fall.

Smiley.Face.SmilingThe Better “Active Voice” Method:

Last night, Larry’s dog Bowser bit Billy.

Did you see how Cathy wrapped that wet towel around her arm?

The beautiful maple leaves turned a bright red in the fall.

There you have the “quickie” ins and outs of the misuse of the passive voice. Take a good look at your writings, hunt for the little “being” verbs, and send them on a hike. Your writing will spruce up like you’ve never seen before. Check out this website for a more in-depth study of the passive voice: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/7-examples-of-passive-voice/

Until then, happy “active voice” writing!

Marsha

P.S. Time to register for the 2016 Montrose Christian Writers Conference. Please check out all the workshops available from an award-winning faculty and print out the registration form at http://www.montrosebible.org/OurEvents/tabid/113/page_550/1/eventid_550/58/Default.aspx

Please let me know if you’d like a hard copy of the brochure. I’ll mail one to you.

 

The 2016 Montrose Christian Writers’ Conference:

One Step Closer to Publication!

Conferees.on.Porch

Faculty Member Kathy Ide Critiquing Nonfiction

Plan to come!

As director of the Montrose Christian Writers’ Conference, I guarantee you’ll find faculty members who will help you get published. Besides 43 afternoon classes that cover everything from self publishing to blogging to writing novels to working with an editor to public speaking, we have an excellent line-up of continuing Major Morning seminars, concentrating on a specific genre or subgenre with best-selling authors:

  1. THE IRRESISTIBLE NOVEL – Jeff Gerke
  2. WHAT’S YOUR STORY? (How to Write a Memoir) – Larry J. Leech II
  3. THE INSPIRATION & THE PERSPIRATION (Beginners) – Roseanna White
  4. FOCUS ON JUVENILE FICTION – Jeanette Windle

Editors and Agents:

If you have a manuscript, and you’d like to show it to an editor or agent, plan to meet any of these faculty members, who just might be interested enough to consider it for publication:

  1. SUSAN M. BAGANZ – acquisitions editor with Prism Book Group (romance novels)
  2. JIM HART – agent with the Hartline Literary Agency (fictional suspense, romance, women’s fiction, & some sci-fi)
  3. MARSHA HUBLER – acquisitions editor with Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas (juvenile & tween fiction, adult fiction)
  4. ROSEANNA WHITE – managing editor of WhiteFire Publishing {non-fiction, romance (both historical and contemporary), biblical fiction, suspense, women’s fiction, and speculative fiction}
  5. JEANETTE WINDLE – acquisitions editor with Kregel Publishing (tween and adult fiction)

Work-in-Progress:

We also have three work-in-progress sessions this year with award-winning authors, who will work with you on your manuscript and get it publishing ready. (These WIPs are limited to 8 conferees each, so don’t wait to register!):

  1. FROM GOOD TO BETTER TO BEST (FICTION) – Gayle Roper
  2. HONING YOUR NONFICTION – Kathy Ide
  3. POETRY (EXAMINING WORKS IN PROGRESS) – Shirley Stevens

Check All the Details:

Please check out the Montrose Bible Conference website for all the details, including a listing of all classes and activities, a brochure, and a registration form.

http://www.montrosebible.org/OurEvents/tabid/113/page_550/1/eventid_550/58/Default.aspx

We’d love to see you at Montrose from July 17th to the 22nd. But…if you can’t make it for the week, plan to come for a day or two. I promise you won’t be sorry.

Marsha

http://www.marshahubler.com

http://www.montrosebible.org

http://www.horsefactsbymarshahubler.wordpress.com

http://www.marshahubler.com

 

(More shameless promotion)

A HORSE TO LOVE 

Foster kid Skye Nicholson hates everyone and everything until she meets Champ,

a gorgeous show horse. Then everything changes…for both of them.

Keystone Stables Book 1

http://www.amazon.com/Horse-Love-Keystone-Stables-Book-ebook/dp/B002U80FZK/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1459004666&sr=1-1&keywords=A+Horse+to+Love+by+Marsha+Hubler

 

Character Development

cartoon-worker-flexing-his-muscles-isolated-37246000

 

He’s a Nice Man? She’s a Nice Lady? Really?

 

Anyone who has tried to write fiction for any length of time realizes that character development is quite important to help your story move along and not be “flat.”

A writer who works diligently at his craft will spend much time developing his primary and secondary characters so that they jump out on the page and practically hug the reader, inviting him to join the party!

So, how is a character developed cleverly so that his description, life’s ambitions, demeanor, habits, quirks, and personal appearance are shown not told?

I guess the best way to demonstrate the proper technique is to “show” and not “tell,” so what we’ll do is look at some bad examples and then turn them into good examples.

Before studying the examples, please remember one important rule when working on character development. Listing all of the character’s traits in one paragraph is about the most boring technique a writer could ever use. A writer who develops his characters properly will embed all of the traits into the narration and/or dialogue so that the reader hardly notices what’s been done, yet will enjoy getting to know the characters on a personal level.

Now, let’s look at some bad examples and then compare them with some good examples:

Bad Example Number One: (Description)

“It’s me, Tanya!” She was so nervous, her voice quivered. Tanya was a tall African American teenager who had a nice shape. She wore a ponytail with long ringlets hanging down in front of her ears. Even though it was cold, all she had on were a thin jacket and jeans. She was really cold.

Good Example Number One:

“It’s me, Tanya!” a quivering voice answered. A tall African-American teenager stepped into the doorway, now in full view of the overhead lights. The girl folded her arms in a futile attempt to keep warm, her shapely frame covered with just a thin denim jacket and jeans. Her short ponytail and long strands of ringlets in front of her ears quivered as she tried to keep warm. (From Keystone Stables Book 3: Southern Belle’s Special Gift, p. 11, by Marsha Hubler)

Bad Example Number Two: (Demeanor or Personality)

Skye Nicholson was a thirteen-year-old brat who had been in trouble with the law for years. Now she found herself sitting in a courtroom, which didn’t seem to bother her one bit. She had a terrible temper, which her lawyer tried to control while they sat before the judge for Skye’s hearing. Skye slumped in her seat and yawned. She was really ignorant.

Good Example Number Two:

Skye Nicholson looked cold as an ice cube as she slumped in the wooden chair and stared back at Judge Mitchell. Most ordinary thirteen-year-olds would have been scared to death as a hearing with an angry judge yelling at the top of his lungs. But Skye was no ordinary thirteen-year-old. Her anger matched the judge’s. Only Wilma Jones, her court-appointed lawyer, prevented Skye from exploding. (From Keystone Stables Book 1: A Horse to Love, p.9, by Marsha Hubler)

Bad Example Number Three – (Description of a horse):

The horse was a beauty. He was a reddish-brown color, and he had a stripe down the middle of his face. His ears were real pointy. His mane and tail were silky and his coat was real smooth. He didn’t smell horsey at all. He smelled kind of like fresh-cut hay.

Good Example Number Three – (Description of the same horse):

The horse’s sharp ears pricked forward as if it could read her mind. A white stripe ran down the middle of its face, and its soft mane and tail blew in the breeze like corn silk. Its reddish-brown coat, sleek and smooth, sparkled in the sun. And the smell? Like sweet, fresh-mown hay. (From Keystone Stables Book 1: A Horse to Love, p.26, by Marsha Hubler)

Are you getting the idea? Embed all that information about the character right into the story. Let’s do one more, just for fun:

Bad Example Number Four: (Description and Feelings)

Louellen was totally embarrassed when she fell into her employer’s arms. It wasn’t only because she thought herself clumsy, but she loved this man because he was so handsome with wavy blonde hair and nice brown eyes. He always had wonderful-smelling cologne on too. Louellen was an Amish woman and dressed in Nineteenth Century clothes. She had green eyes and auburn hair with a white kapp on and a navy cape choring dress, which she always wore when she cleaned. When she tripped and fell into the man’s arms, she scared the family dog out of his wits too.

Good Example Number Four:

Louellen gasped for breath as she regained her balance and pulled away from her employer’s arms. His touch, first ever and accompanied by the sweet smell of his expensive Canoe after shave, stirred something deep inside Louellen’s heart that she didn’t expect. For a moment, she focused on his gorgeous wavy, blonde hair and handsome face and then quickly lowered her gaze. Never before had she allowed herself to look into this man’s gentle brown eyes, although she had studied him from a distance. Hands shaking, she adjusted the white mesh kapp covering her auburn hair and ran her hands down the sides of her navy cape choring dress. She shifted her green eyes to the dog sitting nearby with a puzzled look on his face as if to say, “What happened?” (From Love Song for Louellen book manuscript, p.1, by Marsha Hubler)

Well, there you have some character development examples for you to analyze.

What doesn’t work in the bad examples? What does work in the good examples? You decide; then look at some of your own character descriptions and see what you can do to improve them. Get those characters out of that boring descriptive box and turn them loose with their surroundings, some action, and some backdrop. Your editor and your reader will enjoy your writings much more!

Next time, we’ll discuss verbs that can kill your manuscript.

Happy writing!

Marsha

http://www.montrosebible.org

http://www.horsefactsbymarshahubler.wordpress.com

http://www.marshahubler.com

 

(More shameless promotion)

A HORSE TO LOVE

 

Keystone Stables Book 1

Foster kid Skye Nicholson hates everyone and everything until she meets Champ,

a gorgeous show horse.

 

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